GWAR vs the teen titans
by gojirules
Summary: the teen titans square off with the most dangerous band in rock n' roll history


ukelele guy : oh here's a story that , should be told , it's kinda new , not very old , i bring you now to the radio studio radio show , so put your life on hold as this adventure unfououououlds  
singers : the radiOOOOOOOOOO  
announcer : at a time and a place for 4 reasons , forgal local radio band with a accordian , halomen make it their 5th preformance on the radio studio radio show , the host of the radio studio radio show , bow tie wearing , horn rimmed glasses sporting , carlos michael , hook on while halomen strike up another tune  
song : youuuuuu sure showed me that the 1 de party life ma ne youuuuuu sure showed me that the 1 de party life ma ne  
announcer : but suddenly out of nowhere , a force disrupts and a foulrific smell fills the air and a evil cackle fills the air  
oderus urungus : hahahahaha , youuuuuuu sure showed me that i , oderus urungus , the lead singer of GWAR , could conquer the earth so easilyyyy hahaha  
announcer : ahh kids stop drop and roll , run for the emergency shelters for the vengance of GWAR has been unleashed , i repeat , the vengance of GWAR has been unleashed , now kids for all those who are unaware , GWAR are a outcast group of space marauder aliens , short tempered and blood-thirsty from the lowest ranks of filth , these antarctic demigods of disaster were banished to earth millions of years ago to pay for colossal crimes , raping an pillaging from a short plaste , cutting a swath through the entertainment world , mutilating and traumatizing millions , plotting and soon to dominate the world (random scream) with all this in mind , radio studio intern jackson confronts the scabby , mutated , grotesque , analmorph , grippling , clawed aliens of death  
jackson : excuse me , hello , mr. GWAR , uh , i'm gonna have to ask you to leave , there's just too many people in the radio studio , and this wasn't cleared with station management  
announcer : carlos tells halomen to strike up another tune , halomen do so  
song : so tired of carryin' your backs all day  
announcer : meanwhile , GWAR's short tempered oderus urungus is furious and unleashes a almighty evil force  
oderus urungus : DAAAAAAAAAG , HOW DARE THEE NOT BOW BEFORE THE ALMIGHTY GWAR (random scream) , haha , you dare to show disrespect to your savior , oderus , then you shall feel the tortality of my heartless wrath , chained to a solitude of pain  
bonesnapper : on your knees , you miserable little freaks  
announcer : sensing there might be a problem arising , quick witted and in your face gary milton takes a stand for his brother  
gary : yo man , since you're always too dumbass ugly , i ain't even gonna try to win you always with my love horns , oh , well , maybe , i can try a little new jingle , music please  
song : oderus and , uh beefcake , and pustulus , and jizmak , sexecutioner , bonesnapper , and don't forget their manager , sleazy p. martini , but the ugliest of GWAR of them all , is the take on the mighty kemar , they're GWAR , yep , they're GWAR  
oderus urungus : SHUT UP , SHUT IT , knee , you , shall , pay , gravely , AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH  
announcer : oderus raises his 2 handed sword in retaliation when gary , of course , interrupts  
gary : well , we're about to be rescued , saved by , like , ya know , a force more powerful than you power ranger wannabes , say like the mighty superhero of sorts who can like right wrongs , allow justice prevail , how 'bout , halomen , hit it boys  
song : here's a story in the buckle of fear , about 2 cats and a couple of tangerines  
oderus urungus : you call yourselves halomen , it's going to be easier to conquer this planet than i thought , he , he , ha , ho , ho  
halomen : oh please no  
(zombies march heard in the background)  
announcer : while the almighty GWAR brings the wrath of zombies march , the radio studio intern rickie escapes into the background , and escapes the studio through the backdoor , he races into the surrounding area  
rickie : i must get help , GWAR just ate halomen , why couldn't they eat that new intern bobby , somehow i must stop the evil GWAR in it's tracks , they wanna take over the world , even worse , they wanna take over the radio studio , and that means no more internal pres of the day , i must get help , but who is powerful enough to take me back to my radio studio happy land  
robin : take me back to my happy land  
rickie : robin , is that you  
robin : i was so life's biggest fan  
rickie : the teen titans' leader  
robin : take me back to my happy land  
rickie : shut up  
robin : why hello radio studio intern rickie , why so glum , could you possibly use a titan dog , they're full of that zippin' energy that'll keep you going throughout the day  
rickie : the radio studio's in trouble  
robin : did james cancel them again  
rickie : no , GWAR took over the studio , i think they're gonna broadcast signals of destruction and take over the world  
robin : shed no tears , young sweet rickie , doesn't the radio signal only reack a couple of miles in each direction , that is , when the wind is blowing just right , hahahaha  
rickie : well that was true for a while , but now , there's talk of international syndication of the radio studio , so GWAR will be able to transmit , and conquer the world  
robin : ooh , it's worse than i thought , so , what do ya want from me  
rickie : what do ya mean what do ya want from me , isn't that what the teen titans are all about , saving worlds from interplanetarty slavery , facing new perils , righting wrongs , prevailing over villainy and scoundrels  
robin : well , that pretty much just applies to our own beloved hometown of jump city  
rickie : but GWAR is gonna take over the world  
robin : ooh , raven's father almost did that once , so , how much are you offering  
rickie : ya mean i have to pay you money to save the world of radio  
robin : well of course , staffs and radios don't come cheap these days , let's see , for 5th de niro essay , the teen titans can turn GWAR into laich a day powder , or for a small finder's fee , i can distract GWAR with a audition for the next spiderman movie  
rickie : but i don't have any money  
robin : well , then , with that kinda motivation , you can probably get joy jet  
(random music is heard)  
announcer : in a act of desperation , rickie attempts to generate turns of which the teen titans can relate  
rickie : think of the merchandising possibilities , GWAR vs. the teen titans , t-shirts , patches , stickers , ... action figures  
robin : action figures , hmm , ok essay , now you're talkin'  
announcer : robin reaches toward the sky and gives the teen titans hand signal and begins to sing a chorus from the teen titan theme song  
(teen titans theme song is heard in the background)  
robin : i , robin , leader and challenger of all darkness , request the teen titan roll call , ready , begin  
cyborg : cyborg , the artificial intelligence , with a hint of fun lovingness  
beast boy : beast boy , party animal and animal factor  
starfire : starfire , alien super girl from tamaran  
raven : raven , demon spawn  
announcer : so the teenage , superpowered , animalized , and wild winded teen titans march to the radio studio building to meet the challenge of GWAR  
(metal music is heard in the background)  
robin : can you see anything cyborg  
cyborg : yes , uhh , they're torturing them , they're making up puddle down breakdams , without cardboard , and , carlos michael , they've taken away his horn rimmed glasses  
robin : that's not so bad , he can still see without his glasses  
cyborg : but , but now he has no identity  
robin : oh , the horror , hmm , i know i'm robin , the almighty leader of the teen titans , but do we have a plan , cyborg  
cyborg : yes , let's distract them , with radio studio intern rickie  
robin : ya mean have rickie walk into the lion's den , right into the line of fire where danger lurks around almost every corner , rickie will never go for it  
cyborg : now markie , is , a official titan , he's setting his money , so tell him where all the other titans are doing  
robin : ohh , peer pressure , i like it , now i know why they call you the intelligent 1 , you gasoline heavy low machine (laughter is heard)  
announcer : so the teen titans send in intern rickie with a plan  
oderus urungus : the almighty GWAR will feast in honor of it's victory over the radio studio food chain , let's hear it guys  
all GWARriors : HAAAAAYY  
oderus urungus : now , roast those interns , brown that albino , garnish the feast with parsley , feed my ever swelling giant maggot , let the vomit launch victory fest begin  
all GWARriors : HAAAAAYYuuhh  
announcer : GWAR's blood thirst drep orgy is disrupted by the sudden appearence of radio studio intern rickie and minitian , a small titan that spreads good will in titan products  
rickie : if ya like something good for breakfast , and ya like to eat the food that keeps on giving , why not eat a magic titan  
oderus urungus : the only magic thing about a titan is that you can bite off it's head and , what up , you're a geek , with titan guts , oozing from between your teeth  
announcer : oderus casts a scabbing and scabbing blood thirst arms and attempts to eat the minititan when suddenly and without warning , cyborg punches in the radio studio door , followed by the oh so famous robin , and the other titans slowly filter in to the studio to face the almighty GWAR  
robin : i know beating and battering down the radio studio front door isn't in accord with our official handbook of radio studio conduct , but the teen titans sure know how to make a grand entrance , and 1st things 1st , we've come to save the minititan  
(wacky music is heard in the background)  
oderus urungus : hahaha , huhah ho , you dare enter the forbidden zone of my new conquest , and the best thing they could sing about is a damn , teenager , with a guinea hat  
robin : hey , you don't hear the teen titans insulting your , big , jerky dinosaur gor gor , do you , haha , but i see your point , and i raise you 2 fold , or even billfold , hit it guys , hit it minittian , hit it rickie , let's sing marauders to the tune of rachael  
song : maraud , maraud , maraud , there's a story that must be told , about the marauders that aren't so old , they got knives , and they got guns , they're not really , very fun , why , i don't know , but they're here , and ya know , ya better , run away in fear , why oh why does the planet have fear  
oderus urungus : HA , you think i'm going to eat you and then just be done with you , hahahahaha , i like to play with my food and it's tiny little miserable genitals , this 1 is called , teentitanarama , with a battle cry go forth , which is to give the people what they want , and what the people want is sleazy p. martini to do this and not me , but since he's not here , i'm gonna talk to you about the senseless slaughter of the gutter slime which litters this nation for cash and prices , yes , cuz this is the show where people bet their lives to win something big , cuz when your life is , uh , you should just go buy scumdogs and listen to this , yeah , hello mr. teen titan , nice to meet ya , smoke some teenage crack lately , how many teen titans does it take to get dressed in the morning , 2 , 1 to cut the silly outfits , and the other to put the crap on  
robin : you evil evil oderus urungus , might think you can burn us with your el stupido insults , but what really burns my hinny is that you didn't say THE teen titans , which is in my world a 200 dollar fine , you tour de scum , you think you're almighty , you think you can outnumber the teen titans with your gwarriors and many slave pits , well , let it be known that there are 5 of us , and we're as strong , and as uppity as ever , get 'em , the teen titans , get them , kill , do it again  
announcer : chaos and limotey breaks loose in the radio studio , cyborg , the teen tians' resident robot , dropkicks GWAR's beefcake the mighty , robin , the leader of the titanss , darts for GWAR's leader , oderus urungus , and attempts to take him out with his staff , oderus strikes his 2 handed sword on robin's staff , meanwhile , raven , the demon spawn , heads it off with the big mouthed balsac the jaws of death , beast boy bouts it out with GWAR's pustulus maximus , meanwhile , starfire , the naive alien , takes on jizmak da gusha , robin attempts to take out oderus urungus , but oderus wamps over to the moving inginner , meanwhile , raven has better luck with the sexecutioner , and just when it seems that the teen titans might overpower GWAR with their heroic antics , oderus urungus takes robin hostage , and places his 2 handed sword to the teen titans leader's throat , the other teen titans , having already defeated a majority of their enemy , are shocked and shaken by this quick term of events , they are instantly taken down by the other gwarriors , their leader , robin , is being pelted by GWAR's circumstance , not to mention the foulrific smell of oderus , and the titans begin thinking about how they're gonna end up , meanwhile , robin is but seconds from a impending doom  
oderus urungus : hahahahaha , yes , i , the almighty oderus , the greatest gwarrior of them all , and my good friend , the , cuttlefish of cthulu , have the radio studio , the teen titans , and the world at my mercy , once i rid the teen titans of their leader , the teen midgets , hahahaha , will fair no better than the lives spent on their doomed island , there is no hope , but for a unconditional defeat , you shall no longer , be , teen TITANS , for i shall hunt you down and eat you , like , teen , prey , and your defeat , will be a slow and painful , defeat , because , before i slurp down the brains of your oh so great leader , i'm going to humiliate him , by removing his , tight , little , eye mask , and reveal his true identity  
announcer : as oderus bumbles to deeyemask robin , cyborg secretly schemes to save robin , however , he is caught red handed by the sexecutioner , and oderus finds out , just as he is about to finish deeyemasking robin , and oderus has the other titans painfully forced to view the humiliation of robin  
oderus urungus : well , now that that's taken care of , let's kill these morons , that's right , teen midgets , your time is through  
(the sound of steel penetrating flesh and steel is heard in the background)  
announcer : immediately , the teen titans are mutilated and dissected , and bonesnapper has the corpses loaded into GWAR's bat shaped airship  
bonesnapper : that's right , ya didn't think we'd beat you did you , well , we did , i'm talkin' to a dead body  
oderus urungus : yes , now , your pathetic teen titans have been eliminated , and this pathetic planet is ours , now , you are to bow down before your masters , puny humans , and for all you bohabs out there , our mission is done , the world is now fully ours , so now , you can feel safe , knowing 1 of the biggest threats to our conquest of this planet is out of the way , feel free to go out and buy our merchandise , look cool in the streets , anyway , buy our new album battle maximus out on metal blade records , now we will leave this place and feast on the corpses of our enemies , and we leave you with a song from our new album , bloodbath  
(bloodbath plays in the background)  
(crying sounds are heard in the background)  
random citizen : it's over , the world is taken over , the human race is lost  
radio : kcxx , riverside , san berady


End file.
